"Who is rich? She who is satisfied with her share," -based on a saying in Pirke Avot.
Born to immigrant parents 100 years ago, Grandma was born in an age where civic pride, personal integrity, and ethical living were paramount. These qualities were evident throughout her 100 years and were displayed in many little ways. Whether it was remembering her grammar school song verbatim 90 years later, or reciting the sh'ma over a new car, her appreciation for what she had was always expressed.
While some of us remember her only as a grandmother with a life centered around the home, it is important to remember who she was and where she came from. This was a woman who as a girl revered her parents and spoke lovingly up until the end. A girl who made deliveries for her father before going to school. A girl who remembered her father teaching her how to write figures properly.
As a teenager, she helped raise her nephew, so much that he even called her "mama," while his own mother was busy working. Indeed, she was a mother figure to all her nephews and nieces. She was also a woman who kept in contact with not only her immediate family, but with her many cousins and friends.
She was not one for gossip; it was rare she ever had a bad word for anybody. And in returned, she was universally loved and respected. She also displayed the mitzvah of hospitality and welcomed into the family all newcomers as if they belonged there from the start. She was someone you felt you knew for much longer than you did. She always welcomed her children's' friends, and her grandchildren's' friends, into her home, and in this simple way helped foster a more loving world. Her children and grandchildren were as eager to have people meet her as she was to welcome them.
In her adult life she also worked for charities, and also reflected the principles of both tzedakah and chesed. Who could not see the loving kindness she displayed throughout her 60-year marriage? Who could not learn from her example, never leaving her husband's side throughout his long illness, while she herself was in her eighties? She faced adversity head-on. When faced with a crisis she kept her head and always sought out a solution. She was not one to give up, and she was always personally involved. She was an eternal optimist who sought out the good and would not cave in to self-doubt and fears. She was the sort of person who would be shocked and disappointed at the disgraces of a politician, rather than join the chorus of public derision and schadenfreude.
In an age when it is difficult to see who the role models are, we are lucky to have had our beloved Grandma, who in her own way contributed fully to tikkun olam. In a world that is very often discouraging and brutal, we were all blessed to have known such a rare and exceptional woman. She touched everyone she met, and changed many of them forever.
Written by Seth Bookey; read by the rabbi at her funeral, March 1997.
Seth J. Bookey's Family History Website
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Copyright © 1997 Seth J. Bookey, New York, NY 10021 USA; sethbook@panix.com